Christer Lilliehöök (1949-2014)

Christer Lilliehöök 12 March 1949 - 1 April 2014

Many readers of Zig-Zag remember Christer because of his frequent visits to Caux and especially because of the nine years he spent there in the 1970s. Excerpts from the tribute by Gunnar Soederlund, Sweden, at the April 14, 2014 celebration

Over the years, we have done many things together with Christer. We have gone fishing, we have sailed, we have skied in the mountains of Sweden. We dug the earth and planted nails. We played bridge on a small hill above Salzburg...and lost.

During our first visit to Caux in 1967 we stayed at the Grand Hotel. And it was while running to catch the bus that was supposed to take us home, that I fell and badly dislocated my shoulder. Without a moment's hesitation, Christer put his foot on my chest and pulled it back into place quickly and strongly. We took the bus!

We were part of the Villa Maria community in Caux for many years. For me those years were the happiest, least complicated and most rewarding of my life. And it is also where we found our dearest companions.

It's not easy to cut trees on the slopes of Caux. In fact the felling itself is easy, but the challenge is to keep the logs from rolling down the 45 degree slope. And I will always remember the discomfort Christer, Jean-Paul Donner and I felt the day we cut a 4-meter long log. We had removed the bark to be able to haul it to the road when one of the ropes broke and we saw this very heavy log roll down the slope and plunge into the valley below. And it was with some trepidation that we read the local papers in the days that followed to see if it had hit anything in its fall.

Were we close friends with Christer? We weren't the kind of friends who talk about everything and anything, who tell each other who they fell in love with and who they find unbearable. There is only one person with whom I had this kind of relationship, and that was Jean-Marc Duckert, who passed away much too soon. I would say that I always felt very close to Christer, and that this was due to his personality. Life had given us different gifts. Theories and intellectual antics were not Christer's strong point. In a society that idolizes quick thinking and quick talking, it was not always possible for him to find his bearings. I wonder if this sometimes drove us apart.

A few years ago, we began to write down our thoughts about the kind of life that leads to a new world and that we felt called to live. Like our parents before us. Christer was feeling quite frustrated, as he was encountering new ways of expressing things that he did not understand and found difficult to accept. He tried in his own way to convey his convictions, but did not always find a sympathetic ear.

Here is what I had answered him about an advice he had asked me: I was very touched by the confidence you give me by asking me what I think. You also write that you can't understand all the texts and expressions (especially expressed in a foreign language). I don't think you are called upon to fight a row of massive windmills. I think you and Rosmarie have something more important to do. Something that few people do as well as you. Continue to be yourself in your relationships with others. Deepen the connections with those who need and want to live in the eye of the storm. Be an almost invisible part of the critical mass. The bonds of love and friendship far surpass any organization. Because they go so much deeper. My mother used to say that you always find your way back to your first love. For her, that first love was the life given for a new world that she discovered in 1938 in Visby and that I experienced myself at the age of 16 with you and the others.

I think of three qualities that you possess and that I am largely lacking: The first is humility. You dare to admit your limits. The second is the way you commit yourself without counting the cost. I can't remember a single project where you didn't give your all. There have been times when I've even wondered if that was wise. The third quality, (which you may never have imagined you possessed), is your total lack of cynicism. And that stems from humility and commitment without reservation. The fourth quality struck me the other day: I couldn't remember a single occasion when I felt hurt by Christer, consciously or unconsciously. I began to wonder if this wasn't what the meek shall inherit the earth meant.

About the time Christer was embarking on his final journey, I was sitting on my tractor. I thought about him, and I knew in my heart that his life would soon be over. And as I was crying, surrounded by my cows, music came to my mind. Karl Jenkins' music from "The Armed Man". And the last words of that piece are: God will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. And all suffering will be gone. Praise be to the Lord! The verse above is from a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson. It is read at midnight every New Year here in Stockholm. But this is just a clumsy, watered-down version of the original text. It seems that we all agree with what the poet wished for 150 years ago :

Ring the bells for a thousand years of peace". But in Sweden we have chosen to delete almost all the lines where the poet gives his vision of the necessary change in each of us and the price to pay for this peace to blossom. And I had the feeling, sitting alone on my tractor, that these few lines spoke to us about Christer: Ring in the valiant man and free; See translation below the larger heart the kindlier hand. Ring out the darkness of the land. Ring in the Christ that is to be. Ring out the darkness of the land. Ring in the Christ that is to be. This line speaks of what Christer fought for. It sums up his life and his deepest desire.