Who is your 'icon', the person you most admire in today's world?
Perhaps it's David Beckham, late of Manchester United, or Posh, his glamorous wife (formerly of the Spice Girls). If you're an England rugby fan, it could be Jonny Wilkinson whose last minute drop-goal secured the world cup. Or perhaps it's Robbie Williams, JK Rowling, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, George Bush or one of those whom the West calls a terrorist.
For one person's hero is often another's hate figure.
Over the years I've looked up to various people, often dynamic personalities or people who gave me the sort of support I needed. Yet, one by one, my relationships with them changed. Either I could see that they had weaknesses and were not as wonderful as I had first assumed; or I realized that they could not give me as much support as I wanted and I had to find my security elsewhere. Perhaps they even needed my support.
In reality, it's impossible to find any one human being who is worthy of our adoration. We do need role-models, but we also need the ability to evaluate others realistically.
The other side of the coin is that turning someone into an icon may not be doing them any favours. A Beckham or a Beatle can garner riches and fame from their adoring public. But it doesn't take long to think of once-revered people whose names have been dragged through the mud by the mass media as soon as some frailty has been discovered.
Fortunately, some of those who have fallen from grace have had the courage to admit their short-comings and make a new start. Jimmy Greaves and Tony Adams are two great English football players of different generations who have written frankly about their battles with alcohol, and have shown that there is life after alcohol-dependency.
Those of us who are prepared to admit that we are less than perfect might do well to choose as our models people who are learning to deal with their own imperfections.
There's a line somewhere about a forgiven sinner being more compelling than a frustrated saint.
English
